"Why Am I Single?"

Should Hillary Pretend to Be a Flight Attendant?
MAUREEN DOWD
Published: November 14, 2007

Maureen Dowd is single. This may come as a shock to you. After all, she is smart, beautiful and powerful. Who wouldn’t fall for this triple threat? Dowd asks herself that a lot. She turned the topic into a book, Are Men Necessary? In today’s column she comes up with a full set of answers. And then, through the power of her rolodex, Google and the Times archives, she finds an expert to rationalize each excuse.

I’m Too Smart
Expert: Ray Fisman, PhD – Columbia University, Dating Data: Economic Theory and the Search for a Mate

With two psychologists and another economist, he ran a speed-dating experiment at a local bar near the Columbia campus.

The results surprised him and made him a little sad because he found that even in the 21st century, many men are still straitjacketed in stereotypes.

Dr Fisman is also familiar with Episode 42 of that seminal scholarly work on inter-gender relationships, Sex and The City.

“I guess I had hoped that they had evolved beyond this,” he said in a phone interview. “It’s like that ‘Sex and the City’ episode where Miranda went speed-dating. When she says she’s a lawyer, guys lose interest. Then she tells them she’s a flight attendant and that plays into their deepest fantasies.”

She then quotes an article in Slate about the study:

“When women were the ones choosing, the more intelligence and ambition the men had, the better. So, yes, the stereotypes appear to be true: We males are a gender of fragile egos in search of a pretty face and are threatened by brains or success that exceeds our own.”

I’m Not Hot Enough
Experts: Steven Gaulin of the University of California at Santa Barbara and William Lassek of the University of Pittsburgh, members of Human Behavior and Evolution Society

Perhaps smart women can take hope — as long as they’re built like Marilyn Monroe. Scientists at the University of California, Santa Barbara, and the University of Pittsburgh have released a zany study on the zaftig, positing that men are drawn to hourglass figures not only because they look alluring, but because hips plumped up by omega-3 fatty acids could mean smarter women bearing smarter kids.

I’m Too Old and Make Too Much Money
Expert: Andrew Beveridge, a sociology professor at Queens College as reported by Alex Williams of the New York Times

The new income superiority of many young women in big cities is causing them to encounter “forms of hostility they weren’t prepared to meet,” leaving them “trying to figure out how to balance pride in their accomplishments against their perceived need to bolster the egos of the men they date.”

Professional women in their 20s are growing deft at subterfuges to protect the egos of dates who make less money, the story said, such as not leaving their shopping bags around and not mentioning their business achievements. Or they simply date older men who might not be as threatened.

I’m Too Powerful
Expert: Ilene H. Lang, the president of Catalyst as quoted by Lisa Belkin, also of the Times

Catalyst, an organization that studies women in the workplace, found that women who behave in ways that cleave to gender stereotypes — focusing on collegiality and relationships — are seen as less competent. But if they act too macho, they are seen as “too tough” and “unfeminine.”

Ms. Belkin said that another study shows that men — and female secretaries — are not considered less competent if they dress sexy at work, but female executives are.
Women still tend to be timid about negotiating salaries and raises. Men ask for more money at eight times the rate of women.

Something tells me it might be contract renegotiation time at the Gray Lady.

I’m Too Angry
Expert: Victoria Brescoll, Ph.D., a Postdoctoral Research Associate at the Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity at Yale University

Victoria Brescoll, a Yale researcher, found that men who get angry at the office gain stature and clout, even as women who get angry lose stature because they are seen as out of control.

I Can’t Cook
Expert: Hillary Clinton, Presidential Candidate

That may be why Obama is trying to get “fired up,” in the words of his fall slogan, while Hillary calmly observes that she can take the heat and stereotypically adds that she likes the kitchen.

There you have it, the master checklist of MoDo’s dating excuses. If only she would date younger, less affluent, married bloggers, she could solve her loneliness issues.