DowdLust By The Numbers

Akapi of DailyKos confessed to a serious case of DowdLust with just a tinge of DowdHate. As much as we love MoDo here at the Dowd Report, we found his open panting just a little unseemly:

Frankly I find Maureen Dowd to be THE most attractive and sexy "pundit" in the world. And her "breathy soft delivery" simply amplify this deep lustful and emotional attachment that prods me on to look forward to devouring her column and scanning the TV Guide for any appearances she might be making (though she seems to be making fewer and fewer of said appearances).

So what's a good liberal to do? Reject her due to her obvious arrogance and somewhat inconsistent viewpoints (though recently she HAS been much more consistent).

Or simply love her for the beautiful,brilliant (She is a DAMNED GOOD writer with a unique and valuable insight),and dare I say it, sexy woman I find her to be?

He sought to find out how his readers felt and put up a poll that got 62 responses. The options were:

A. Smarmy
B. Annoying
C. Beautiful
D. Sexy
E. A and B
F. C and D
G. All of the above.

The pick more than one format led to some deceptive results. 16% picked annoying alone but 24% picked all of the above. I have distributed the multiple choice picks among the base categories and graphed them below:

Clearly most people find her annoying, but nearly half found her sexy. All the usual
caveats about sample size and self-selection of responses apply, but I have to conclude that many DowdLusters find her sexy because she is annoying and smarmy.

Greg Gutfeld Goes Gaga

In Tuesday’s column, Maureen Dowd latched onto Greg Gutfeld’s characterization of the Iranian president as a fruitbat as an example of inhospitable name-calling. In addition to the fruitbat line, Greg also had this to say about the fashion sense of our Persian guest:

Ahmadinejad needs gays bad. Look at that waxed hair and that retarded coat. He needs a queer eye, fast.

When aspiring Fox News Neanderthal Gutfeld found out that he had garnered the notice of Maureen, he went on a charm offensive. While he seemed a little miffed that he’s never been invited to go hot-tubbing with Frank Rich and the rest of the NYT Op-Ed gang, he makes a serious play for Maureen’s affections. Despite her being twelve years his senior, he is willing to pull out all the stops. He tells her to quit pining for mustachioed tyrants that will just love her and leave her.

Maureen, he's just not that into you.

But I am. I'll wait. When he's done with you, just call me. We'll have margaritas. I'll even wear the jacket — maybe pants. I won't like it, but I'll do it… for you.

Uh, that's not your gut you're feeling, Greg. Think lower.

It seems a shame that such an eloquent knuckle-dragger as Gutfeld could become such a smitten schoolboy. We understand MoDo’s magic allure, Greg. We really do.